In this episode, Juan Alvarado discusses the importance of building relationships with staff, parents, and the community to influence the culture of afterschool programs. He emphasizes the power of listening, having courageous conversations, and leading by example. Juan shares practical strategies for supervisors to create a positive and impactful culture, including praising staff, having positive phone calls with parents, and setting a high standard through personal actions. By focusing on building relationships and understanding the needs and goals of others, supervisors can effectively influence the culture and create a thriving environment.
Key topics discussed in this episode include:
* The importance of continuous conversation and meaningful interactions with parents to build relationships and understand their needs.
* The impact of positive communication and praise on students and staff, and the value of starting conversations with a positive note.
* The significance of courageous conversations in addressing difficult issues with staff, focusing on calling out the problem while calling up the person.
* The role of leadership in influencing the culture at a site, and the need for supervisors to lead by example and set the standard for their staff.
* The importance of understanding the existing culture and working with staff to bring about positive change.
Guest Bio:
Juan is a highly respected expert in leadership and a Gallup Certified Clifton Strengths Coach. He is a U.S. Army war veteran with a wealth of experience training teams of thousands of soldiers in high-stakes situations. In addition to his military service, Juan has worked with school districts to improve team efficiency and communication, resulting in increased productivity and employee satisfaction. He helps leaders and teams overcome complacency and prevent burnout in the workplace through his "Blueprint to Leadership" course, which has created more confident and respected leaders in over 3500 school administrators. Juan has been featured on FOX, NBC, and CBS for his work in creating strength-based leaders and teams, promoting a positive culture in the workplace.
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Juan: We constantly say, well, call them out, tell them what
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they did wrong.
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We can call out the situation, we can call it a problem, but
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never call out the person.
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We have to be able to call up the person.
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I'm going to ask you, I'm going to require you, I am going to
00:00:16
call you up to the next level.
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This is the problem, this is how it was done, but in our
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organization, this is how we do things, and I'm going to elevate
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you and call you up to say I'm requiring you to do much more
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than have this type of conversation.
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You can't do that here, so I'm going to challenge you to do
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this instead.
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So I'm calling out the problem, but I'm calling up the person.
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J. Lee: Hello, hello everyone.
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Welcome to school after hours podcast.
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So we talk about all things related to out of school time
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programming and education.
00:00:51
I am your host, j Lee, and we have the wonderful, the amazing
00:00:55
Mr Juan Alvarado with us today.
00:00:57
He's going to be talking with us about can get, can get, can
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get.
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He's going to be talking about leadership and we're also going
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to dive a little bit into culture building at the same
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time.
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But before we get into all the wonderful things, let's go ahead
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and jump into our community corner.
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Community corner is a segment of the show that allows guests
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on myself to share tips, advice or information on a specific
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topic with young people, families or community members.
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Without further ado, let's go ahead and get into our community
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corner conversation.
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Okay, juan, so for a community corner?
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This is my question for you.
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Are you ready?
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Yes, all right.
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So my question for you is why is parent and community
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participation important when it comes to after school program?
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Juan: So there is what I call like the three headed monster a
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good monster.
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Like monsters ink, like they're good monsters.
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Right, so the three headed monster is going to be your,
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your parents, your teachers and your after school programs, or
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those people who like coaches, things like that.
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You've heard the saying it takes a village to raise our
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children.
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So the issues that I see, even with my own children I have
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three boys but from my experience now, school program
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has been that there's organization and structure in
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the school place but then when they go home it's different.
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Right, right, I'll take a common core math.
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Right, teachers knew what they were doing in the natural school
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program.
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Staff were like what the heck, how do we, how do we teach this,
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how do we do this?
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And then you take them to the home and the parents don't know
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how to help their students in math.
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Well, when we get into alignment teacher, after school
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program staff and parents then we're able to support and
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surround and give that environment to the students.
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I kind of give the example of when you have a child and they
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go to grandma and grandpa's house or the babysitter.
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That's really lenient and then the parents come home, or the
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kids come home or the kid goes to spend the night at a friend's
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house and the rules are just different there.
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When the student comes back or the child comes back, it's like
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what happened, where were you?
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What happened to the rules, the structure, and it's like you
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almost have to start over.
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So I tell people, monday through Friday, the kids in a
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very structured school through after school program and the
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regular school day, but when they go home Saturday, sunday or
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for the evening to come back to school the next day, there's
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misalignment there.
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And so it's great to have parents, parent nights, parent
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involvement to say, hey, these are the things that we have
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implemented in structure.
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You can still have structure at home.
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Yes, there's some leniency, but when we can get on the same
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page in the same book, on the same paragraph, everything's
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going to flow that much better.
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And so alignment is huge between pick your three-headed
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monster the parent, parent, teacher and our school parent,
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teacher, coach.
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But then to surround that student with that support, with
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that love, and here's the thing with the discipline.
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You can still love through discipline.
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And I never really truly understood that as a child, but
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as a parent myself, as a coach and now as a leadership mentor
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to a lot of programs is discipline is key, but you can
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still love through discipline.
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I tell people, how can I correct you if I cannot connect
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with you?
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Right Connection before correction, and when we can do
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that as a whole, we will have a better body of leadership which
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will then produce better youth in our cities and our
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communities.
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J. Lee: Can I have me tears out here?
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But, it's true, it is very very true that connection,
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especially, like you said, when children go home, or even when
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they're, you know, coming back from the weekend, it's like
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Monday.
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You look a real different.
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Juan: Thursday or Friday you look a little different, and
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I'll take it a step further and I teach this too is the
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environment won't always go home like the structured environment
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.
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School day, after school programming, things like that
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won't always go home, but we have to be careful that home
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environment doesn't come to school, and what I mean by that
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is when we talk about connection before correction and things
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like that is.
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I tell a story of and I learned this in the military and I
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learned this in the police department and it's a movie.
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Training day with Denzel Washington taught me this.
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They're wolves, they're sheep and they're sheep dogs and the
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wolves are out there to kill, steal and destroy, destroy the
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structure of a family, the structure of a school, people's
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happiness, people, things like that.
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So our jobs as educators, as after school program staff, that
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coaches, as police officers, as firefighters, as doctors, as
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whatever, is to protect our sheep.
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But the moment that a sheep leaves, our job is to corral
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them back to the flock right.
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And we might have to bark, we might have to nudge, but we
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never bite the sheep, because if we bite the sheep it looks no
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different than the wolf that bites the sheep.
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So when we say, hey, jonathan, sit down for the fourth freaking
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time, knock it off Now.
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We look no different than maybe the abusive parent or bigger
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brother or uncle or aunt or whatever at home.
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So we need to be really careful to keep that structure pure,
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that we are not to bite the sheep, or else we look no
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different than at home environment.
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So if we want structured environment to follow home, we
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can't let a home, a negative home environment, come into the
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school day where the educators or the teachers, where the child
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finds its strength and its support, to look like anything
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negative, maybe like a home environment.
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J. Lee: Worth its weight in gold .
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Worth its weight in gold.
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All right, we're going to go ahead and jump into our
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interview questions.
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Everyone, thank you once again for being here with us on the
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show.
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So I had the wonderful privilege of learning about you
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at the Booth's conference last year and then I've been able to
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follow your show throughout the year and kind of show, kind of
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one of my top picks, and I'm so happy that I was able to reach
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out to you Show.
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Thank you, but you know, just going to drop that on there
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right there you do that little tidbit of information.
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So thank you for being here.
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I appreciate it, thank you.
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No problem.
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So let's go ahead and jump into the interview questions, right?
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So my first thing is go ahead.
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For the people that don't know, you give them a little bit
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about yourself.
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You know the highlights, and we can go ahead and dive a little
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bit deeper into our conversation .
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Juan: Highlight.
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So I grew up in Los Angeles, california, before I left to the
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military, went to the military right after high school
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graduated following day, had a graduation party slash, go into
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a party and then left where I learned not only just basic
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military but intel, counterintelligence and
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intelligence school, so just a lot of strategic thinking kind
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of things and from there moved to the Central Valley in
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California where I live, with my wife now and three boys 15,
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dang, he's going to be.
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He's gonna be 16, holy Moly, just thought about that.
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1514 and 11.
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And yeah, it worked in after school program for 11 plus years
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after the police department and grew programs, started programs
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, and now I get to travel and speak, uplifting their leaders
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and leadership to help them have better programs, better staff,
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things like that.
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But yeah, I've got this.
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I got to speak in a bunch of different states and a bunch of
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different really big programs, especially here in California,
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and yeah, that's pretty much it.
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I just love the fact that I get to help leaders and leadership
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pour into those people who they lead, whether that's directors
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into staff or staff for students .
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Nice, nice.
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J. Lee: So the conversation that we're going to be having today
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is for those first year and going into second year site
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directors, because you know it's a little tough.
00:09:08
It's a little rough Going into that role, especially maybe
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transitioning from a staff role of probably being a site aid,
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even coming from an assistant coordinator or director role
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into a director role.
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It's a little bit different.
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You know, you call the shots here, developing culture.
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You may have the support, you may not have the support.
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So what I want to do in this time is kind of carve out some
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important information for those first year, those returning
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second year or even those that are transitioning to different
00:09:41
sites in the middle of the year, because that's a little
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different.
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Juan: Yeah, yep.
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J. Lee: That is a little different, to give them a little
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tidbits, you know, on things that they can do to kind of
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build the best community and build the best environment that
00:09:54
they can for themselves, but for their staff and for their
00:09:57
students as well.
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So with that being said, let's go ahead and let me ask you this
00:10:03
first question.
00:10:04
So, as a first year supervisor or leader transitioning to a
00:10:08
different site, what are some important things to keep in mind
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as the leader of that team?
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Juan: A couple different things.
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Learn right, listen and learn.
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Understand that this is not your.
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This is your new site, but it's not your old site.
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So don't make your new site like your old site.
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Can it be similar?
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Yes, but I can tell you right now, staff are going to say,
00:10:34
well, that's not how we do it here.
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Our site is different, our students are different, and I
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see a lot of leaders that think, oh, I'm going to make it easy
00:10:44
and I'll just do the same thing they did before.
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However, you get the best of the world that you were in, mix it
00:10:52
with the best of the world that you are currently in, but you
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don't know that environment yet.
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So how do you get that information?
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You talk to students and you talk to staff.
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What did you like?
00:11:00
What did you absolutely love about your last leader or
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director or manager or whatever?
00:11:05
What didn't you like and this is not a gossip session, but
00:11:08
it's I wish they would have spoke to me a little bit more.
00:11:11
They would have carved more time, more support.
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I don't need.
00:11:15
On July 2nd, she said this about me and she would always
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talk to the other staff about me or he would do this like it's
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not a gossip session, but it's.
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I felt a lack of support.
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I need some help.
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I need some guidance.
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Maybe it's personal, maybe it's .
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I have a special needs child at home and there's going to be
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times where I won't be able to make it in on time.
00:11:36
Whatever it is, learn your environment right.
00:11:39
I can take it back to like animals.
00:11:42
If an animal is captured in or because it's injured, and they
00:11:46
take it into a facility for, like a zoo facility, and they
00:11:50
start to nurture that animal, they still have to give it an
00:11:53
environment that looks like its natural environment and then
00:11:57
train it to continue to hunt, kill, search for food, things
00:12:00
like that, and then they go back and release it.
00:12:02
So you're going to have to learn your environment where you
00:12:04
are and learn the ropes before you go back into it and lead.
00:12:08
So listen and learn, listen to your staff, learn from your
00:12:11
staff and then get the best of both worlds and start to
00:12:15
intermingle to try to make it cohesive, because I've always
00:12:17
loved the fact of if you're going to move up even further
00:12:22
from that position.
00:12:23
You know what you learn from school A and now from school B,
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and now you're making new things , which it might be C.
00:12:30
So now you're building a repertoire of your tool belt.
00:12:33
The next thing that I would say besides listen and learn, I
00:12:39
would say is which is a big one, which is a hard pill to swallow
00:12:43
but, once you understand it fully, is huge.
00:12:46
Your job is not to make people happy, your job is to make them
00:12:51
better.
00:12:53
And, yes, picture a kid throwing a tantrum at like Walmart or
00:12:58
Target or whatever, or a baby crying.
00:13:02
People with the baby will give the pacifier to pacify it here.
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Stop for now and pacify the situation the kid is throwing.
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I'm mommy, I want this, okay.
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Okay, I'll get it for you.
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Just be quiet, cause you don't want there to be a scene.
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That is a taking care of the symptom as opposed to taking
00:13:21
care of the problem.
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Right, the problem for the child crying might be that it's
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hungry, it needs to be burped, it's tired or it's teething,
00:13:29
right?
00:13:29
So take care of the problem feed it, burp it, put it to bed,
00:13:34
whatever, right, numbing cream for the gums or whatever.
00:13:37
For the kid throwing the tantrum.
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It's a lack of engagement or rules or discipline.
00:13:43
So we need to go back to solving the problem.
00:13:45
But if I try to make somebody happy, it's not solving the
00:13:49
problem.
00:13:49
They're not gonna become better .
00:13:50
So in work, if somebody just wants to be pacified or to make
00:13:58
them happy, they're just gonna be content, and content is not
00:14:00
happiness.
00:14:01
Content means you're not happy and you're not sad.
00:14:04
You're fine, you're good.
00:14:05
Would you want fine or good pay , or a fine or good relationship
00:14:10
, or would you want a phenomenal relationship, phenomenal pay,
00:14:13
things like that?
00:14:13
So don't be satisfied with good or fine.
00:14:16
So if that's the case, I'm not gonna give my staff everything
00:14:20
that they need to make them happy.
00:14:21
I'm gonna give my staff everything to make them better.
00:14:24
Being happy is the result of becoming better, right?
00:14:29
So if you're saying I'm not happy because I just don't know
00:14:32
how to communicate, well, I'm gonna help you with
00:14:34
communication skills.
00:14:34
I'm not gonna tell you what to say, because if I tell you what
00:14:37
to say, that's gonna make you happy.
00:14:38
If I show you and teach you and mentor you, I help you become
00:14:45
better.
00:14:45
And once you become better, you're like now I'm happy
00:14:47
because now I know what to do, I know how to do it, I know why
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I'm doing it.
00:14:51
So understand that as a new manager or new lead, you need to
00:14:57
make people better.
00:14:58
Your job is not to make them happy.
00:15:00
As soon as we make them happy, then they'll start to step on us
00:15:04
and then they start to take your kindness for weakness, and
00:15:08
that's not the case.
00:15:09
I want people to follow me because of my influence not
00:15:13
because I give them everything that they want Because I've
00:15:16
learned that there's two things that people want, slash, need,
00:15:20
like again going back to the child, or even a staff.
00:15:24
I need this.
00:15:24
Well, that's what you feel that you want.
00:15:26
But I know what you need, right , I just need help with my kids
00:15:31
and get them to quiet down.
00:15:32
Well, that's what you want.
00:15:34
What you need is classroom management.
00:15:36
So I'll quiet your students down.
00:15:38
I'll make sure that they follow your directions for today, but
00:15:40
you know what After today, you and I are talking and I'm
00:15:43
coaching you on classroom management, because that solving
00:15:45
the solution is not pacifying it.
00:15:47
Yeah, so your job is to make them better, not to make them
00:15:51
happy.
00:15:52
J. Lee: Nice, nice.
00:15:53
So for the people, pleases in the building, that comes a very
00:15:57
hard check for that individual, not just mentally but
00:16:00
emotionally, because you want them to be pleased with you.
00:16:04
Juan: Right.
00:16:05
J. Lee: But it's what they can't .
00:16:07
Juan: Yeah, it's basically what you want now versus what you
00:16:10
want most.
00:16:11
If you really want them to be happy with you, then you can't,
00:16:15
just you can't again, my kid's hungry.
00:16:18
I'm not going to give him crap to eat, I'm going to give him
00:16:21
something nourishing.
00:16:22
Yeah, you might get here, let me give you something to hold
00:16:25
you off, but if I keep on giving him junk, then he's going to
00:16:30
start to crave the junk, right?
00:16:31
I'm not here to make you a junk staff.
00:16:33
I'm here to make you a phenomenal staff, right?
00:16:36
And so, if you're a people pleaser, know that the pleasing
00:16:41
is going to last longer.
00:16:42
If you make them better, if you make them happy, then it's
00:16:44
going to be.
00:16:45
It's just going to be short-term and it's going to be
00:16:46
very, very short-term.
00:16:48
J. Lee: That is great, oh, that's great.
00:16:50
But hold on, everybody, we're going to come back.
00:16:51
We're going to take a quick break and we're going to come
00:16:54
back.
00:16:54
So go ahead, get your drinks, you know, get your popcorn, get
00:16:57
your tea.
00:16:57
If you need to, go ahead, take care of yourself and come back
00:17:01
in like no less than like two minutes, all right.
00:17:03
So tell them in a minute.
00:17:05
Are you a program director or thinking of starting a program?
00:17:08
Maybe you need new curriculum that focuses on character
00:17:12
development or technical skills.
00:17:14
Maybe you need help establishing effective program
00:17:17
logistics to have an impactful program culture or, overall, you
00:17:22
just need a program evaluation.
00:17:23
Well, school after hours consulting case here to help,
00:17:28
contact us at schoolafterhourscom and our
00:17:32
contact information is in the show notes.
00:17:34
Hope to hear from you soon.
00:17:36
Hello, hello everyone.
00:17:37
Welcome back to the show.
00:17:39
We have the amazing Juan Alvarado here with us.
00:17:42
We are going to be talking about leadership, you know,
00:17:46
tackling all these things with culture, building at sites, all
00:17:49
the wonderful things, and specifically speaking to our
00:17:52
first year staff, second year returners for leadership, but
00:17:57
also those that may be transitioning to a different
00:17:59
site.
00:17:59
You know, what went well at one place may not go well at the
00:18:03
next.
00:18:03
If you were preview to our previous conversation in the
00:18:06
first half, you know did touch a little bit on that.
00:18:08
So from there, let's talk about leadership.
00:18:11
So we did talk about being a leader and the one thing that
00:18:15
you said is listening, you know, being aware of the space as
00:18:18
you're coming in, but also finding out what your staff
00:18:22
needs but what your student needs.
00:18:23
Which leads me into my next question for you, juan what are
00:18:29
some of the things that new supervisors can do to build
00:18:32
relationships with the community and parents, cause that could
00:18:36
be a little iffy.
00:18:38
Juan: Yeah, um, any communication in any
00:18:43
relationship is built off of continuous conversation.
00:18:48
So when parents come in, it's not just hey, how's it going,
00:18:52
I'll have your son or daughter here, right, when they pick them
00:18:54
up, but really communicating with the parents especially if
00:18:59
they have other kids right, there's other children.
00:19:01
Hey, what's your name, do you play any sports?
00:19:03
Things like that.
00:19:03
And then you can see, right, becky coming in with her son,
00:19:08
jackson, to pick up you know, I'm using my own family here as
00:19:12
an example picking up Levi, and all of a sudden mom doesn't have
00:19:15
Jackson.
00:19:16
Hey, where's Jackson?
00:19:16
Jackson's usually here with you .
00:19:17
Oh, he's at baseball practice, right.
00:19:20
So now Jackson comes the following day with mom to pick
00:19:24
up Levi.
00:19:24
You can say hey, jackson, how's baseball going?
00:19:26
Right, it's the little conversations that, like it's
00:19:29
meaningful, right.
00:19:30
And I and I attest this back to it's funny Back to when I was
00:19:34
in junior high.
00:19:36
I was in seventh grade.
00:19:37
There was an older girl that I liked who was in eighth grade
00:19:40
and she was a teacher's assistant for the office and she
00:19:43
came in because I need to get picked up for a doctor's
00:19:45
appointment, and then she's like hey, when the teacher hey, we
00:19:48
need one to the office.
00:19:49
And then you get escorted to the office, right.
00:19:51
And on my way to the office with this girl, she was like
00:19:54
where were you?
00:19:55
Yesterday I came into the office to give somebody else a
00:19:57
nose and I noticed that you weren't in class.
00:19:58
And I was like the hottest girl in school, knows who I am and
00:20:02
notice that I wasn't in class, right.
00:20:03
And it goes back to the same thing, like you feel valued
00:20:07
because somebody saw you, somebody understands who you are
00:20:11
, cares about you and noticed that you weren't there.
00:20:14
So there's impact there.
00:20:15
So how do I have impact and influence on somebody?
00:20:19
I continuously have conversations with them and let
00:20:21
them know that I care.
00:20:23
Right, it's the conversations when you've had a bad day with
00:20:26
their child, right?
00:20:27
Hey, we had a pretty uphill battle today with Levi.
00:20:30
There was some getting out of the seat.
00:20:32
There was talking back.
00:20:33
There's a little bit of attitude.
00:20:35
He said some things that weren't appropriate.
00:20:37
We're going to let that go, you know.
00:20:38
This time I just want you to let you know what happened.
00:20:40
But then you also need to have those conversations with today.
00:20:44
Levi was out fricking standing.
00:20:47
He was helpful.
00:20:48
He helped the kid up.
00:20:49
There was a kid that was being bullied and he came and he got
00:20:51
in the way and he said something and you know he was just very
00:20:54
helpful, very loving.
00:20:57
A child hears no or something negative 400 times a day.
00:21:00
By the time they're 18, it's over 2 million times that
00:21:04
they've heard no or something negative.
00:21:07
So how do we combat that with something positive?
00:21:09
So when we're talking about like community and having that
00:21:13
building relationships, I want, as a parent, I want to know that
00:21:17
my child is being taken care of and that I'm getting reports
00:21:21
and I'm not saying micromanaging and like, hey, you know, every
00:21:24
day I come in and say hey, today was a seven, today was an eight
00:21:27
, but there's valuable time, there's valuable information.
00:21:31
Here's the other thing is listening to parents and the
00:21:35
vocabulary that they use.
00:21:36
I use this when we talk about marketing with students, when
00:21:39
we're trying to get more ADA, more attendance into the program
00:21:43
is listening to what the kids are saying and the vocabulary
00:21:46
that they're using and then utilize it the same way, right?
00:21:49
So I've had parents where they say I'm just having a really
00:21:52
tough time with Levi.
00:21:53
He just has attitude.
00:21:55
I don't think he's very confident because he never looks
00:21:57
you in the eye and blah, blah.
00:21:59
Now I know I need to build confidence and Levi, I need to
00:22:04
get him to look people in the eye.
00:22:05
I know that they find that respectful, so when I'm talking
00:22:08
to this parent, I need to look at them in the eye.
00:22:10
There's verbal cues out there that we need to know and
00:22:13
understand.
00:22:16
But I will add this this last part is we all need to work
00:22:20
intentionally and with purpose, and so when our programs or our
00:22:25
students or our parents aren't striving for something, then our
00:22:28
programs and our relationships fall flat.
00:22:30
Right.
00:22:31
If I'm working on my relationships with my students,
00:22:34
I want to know what they want, what they're fighting for, what
00:22:36
they're looking forward to, what they're looking to strive for.
00:22:40
And when we can have these little moments of accomplishment
00:22:44
, then we can then brag about them to their parents and things
00:22:47
like that.
00:22:48
So we can say, hey, he had a 2.0 and we were striving this
00:22:52
week to get a 2.3 and we got a 2.3.
00:22:55
Right, when we're moving forward in a journey, together
00:22:59
we build relationship with students.
00:23:00
When parents are like man, I just want him to get better
00:23:03
grades.
00:23:04
Okay, what is a better grade to the parent?
00:23:05
What does success look like to them?
00:23:06
I just want them to get from a 2.0 to a 3.0.
00:23:09
All right, now I know what we're striving for.
00:23:11
Hey, mr Alvarado, we've been working really, really hard with
00:23:14
your son or daughter or whatever.
00:23:16
We're halfway there.
00:23:17
We're at a 2.5.
00:23:18
Now dad or mom gets excited because we are moving forward.
00:23:22
So what is the journey that you need to have with your students,
00:23:25
with your community, with your parents?
00:23:27
I know at certain schools or whatever they, sometimes it's
00:23:30
beautiful to find their communities picking up trash.
00:23:32
It's, you know, getting rid of graffiti or whatever.
00:23:35
Cool Then.
00:23:36
That's what we're going to do with our students, with our
00:23:38
programs.
00:23:38
But, again, everything is leading in a journey.
00:23:42
Where and what is your, your journey in that?
00:23:45
Where do you lie in that?
00:23:46
J. Lee: And then where is?
00:23:47
Juan: your students and your parents lie in that, to know
00:23:48
that we're moving together for the common goal or purpose.
00:23:55
J. Lee: Right, and too often I feel like we reach for the
00:23:59
negative rather than the positive when it comes to having
00:24:02
conversations and building relationships, not with just the
00:24:05
students, but also with the parents as well.
00:24:07
I know, in one of a couple of the sites that I've worked at,
00:24:11
the thing that was stressed to us the first phone call that you
00:24:15
made to a parent should be a positive phone call, not a
00:24:17
negative.
00:24:19
Because there's a bunch of things going on during the day
00:24:21
and you don't know when's the last time that parent or that
00:24:24
child has had a positive talk or encouragement about their child
00:24:29
.
00:24:29
So you always want to reach for the positive first.
00:24:31
So therefore, you're building a rapport with them.
00:24:34
So when you have to give that conversation like look,
00:24:37
something may have happened today and I just wanted to
00:24:39
inform you and let you know about it, you already have
00:24:41
invested in that relationship kind of give them that news.
00:24:45
Juan: Yeah, for sure, and it can save a relationship.
00:24:48
Right, the kid might be getting just reamed at home.
00:24:50
You never do this and your room is dirty and your grades are
00:24:53
falling and you just have attitude, blah, blah, blah.
00:24:55
Like when are you going to like , get your act together?
00:24:58
We're hearing that as a kid.
00:24:59
But then when the teacher calls and says, hey, we had a really
00:25:03
good time and a really good thing, it's like oh, there's
00:25:06
something there.
00:25:06
It helps the relationship.
00:25:09
It's a conversation starter.
00:25:10
Hey, tell me, tell me more.
00:25:12
What happened at school.
00:25:12
Your teacher called today and said that this and this happened
00:25:14
.
00:25:15
So now you're really in a relationship with, between a
00:25:17
parent and a student, because you're giving them a
00:25:18
conversation starter.
00:25:19
Yeah, it's all about deposits over withdrawals, right?
00:25:22
Everyone wants to be able to get more deposits into their
00:25:25
bank account, their emotional bank account, right?
00:25:28
And that's a lot of withdrawal, right, so, for sure.
00:25:33
J. Lee: So that curves me to my next question, dealing with
00:25:36
staff, right?
00:25:37
So when you're having these conversations, the same way that
00:25:40
you want to praise your students, you also want to
00:25:42
praise your staff.
00:25:43
But what happens if you have to then have those difficult
00:25:46
conversations with staff?
00:25:48
And I know you did a show on it and one of the things that you
00:25:52
referenced, too, was not calling out but calling up- yeah.
00:25:57
So you can go ahead and share that with us yeah.
00:26:00
Things that you want to do as far as developing your staff in
00:26:02
that sense.
00:26:03
Juan: Yeah, to develop your staff, you have to develop
00:26:06
yourself first, and I taught this just yesterday about the
00:26:10
words that we use.
00:26:11
Right, and I'm going to do this with you right now, and you can
00:26:13
finish this sentence for me, sticks and stones will break my
00:26:16
bones, but words will never it hurt me.
00:26:18
Yeah, which is a bunch of crap because it does right so much so
00:26:24
if I can get serious for a second.
00:26:25
Words have caused people to take their own lives.
00:26:28
J. Lee: If I'm just being real right.
00:26:30
Juan: So words definitely don't just hurt, they kill right and
00:26:34
they also kill motivation.
00:26:35
They kill hearts, they kill thought processes, they kill
00:26:37
minds.
00:26:38
But here's the other side of that coin.
00:26:39
Words also lift up and motivate and inspire and bring life and
00:26:43
give life.
00:26:44
And so our tongue is a very critical weapon.
00:26:48
It can hurt or it can help, it can slow or it could grow right,
00:26:52
and what we speak and what we hear affects our thought process
00:26:57
.
00:26:57
So you said something which we all do.
00:26:59
I did this, I probably in this podcast episode, and I think we
00:27:02
might have, I might have done this last week and I constantly
00:27:05
catch myself and because I'm aware I catch it with other
00:27:08
people and I'm starting to catch it with myself but you said how
00:27:10
do we deal with staff, deal with?
00:27:14
J. Lee: stuff.
00:27:16
Juan: Not work with you, not communicate with you, not mentor
00:27:19
you, not help you?
00:27:20
How do we deal with staff?
00:27:21
Like I said that the other day, like Friday, I was talking to
00:27:27
my wife and I said, how are we going to deal with the kids,
00:27:29
with the situation?
00:27:30
And I was like you did it, like that's a tough word, right, how
00:27:37
am I going to deal with it?
00:27:38
My mom said it to me.
00:27:39
Well, what are we going to do with you?
00:27:40
Or same thing with like shame on you, like when you think
00:27:44
about shame on you, like when you really think about those
00:27:49
words for shame to be put upon you, like dang gum, like that's,
00:27:53
that's crazy.
00:27:55
So, to deal with staff, I would then tell the leader of the
00:27:59
individual the problem processing your mind and your
00:28:02
thought process is that you have to deal with staff and if
00:28:06
you're dealing with stuff, you have to deal with your problems,
00:28:07
you have to deal with your emotions.
00:28:09
Now I would say that we need to start training and working on
00:28:12
those things so that you can become better leader when you
00:28:17
start to work with your staff.
00:28:18
Now, to answer the question when it comes to working with
00:28:22
staff, mentoring staff, that we need to have those difficult
00:28:25
conversations.
00:28:26
I heard a mentor of mine teach me this way.
00:28:29
They're called courageous conversations, and when we start
00:28:32
talking about culture, this is big.
00:28:35
When setting the platform for that is, we need to have a
00:28:39
courageous conversation, and it's not just courageous for me
00:28:42
to speak it, but it's going to be courageous for you to hear
00:28:46
too.
00:28:46
This is going to be a tough conversation.
00:28:48
It's going to be tough for me to say, and it's also going to
00:28:50
be tough for you to hear, and then like what is it the movie
00:28:55
eight mile or M&M?
00:28:57
At the very end said, at the very end of his rap battle he
00:29:00
talks about I am white and I did do this and you guys did
00:29:03
jumping, you did shoot me.
00:29:04
And at the very end, he says now, tell these fools what they
00:29:07
don't already know about me.
00:29:08
Right, tell them something new that they don't like, that I
00:29:11
didn't tell him already.
00:29:11
I do that with my staff, with the staff.
00:29:13
Hey, you might feel like you're back into a corner.
00:29:17
You might feel that this is unfair, that you didn't have a
00:29:20
voice in this, but I want you to make sure that you feel this
00:29:23
way.
00:29:23
You might feel this way and you might not like me at the other
00:29:26
day, whether it's a how did he tell me?
00:29:29
Whether it's a handshake, hug or a shrug.
00:29:32
I want you to be cool with the conversation at the very end.
00:29:36
Something happened today or something happened yesterday
00:29:40
that we really needed to discuss the way you spoke to another
00:29:43
staff or whatever.
00:29:44
I'm going to give you your mic to be heard, but we can't have
00:29:48
that stuff happen.
00:29:49
I know that you might have been upset, they might have hurt you
00:29:51
, whatever but I want to hear your side of the story.
00:29:53
But letting somebody be heard, because we all want to be heard
00:29:57
and understood, I think it's coming.
00:29:58
It's teachers seek first to understand and to be understood.
00:30:01
I want to be able to understand you, but in that when you were
00:30:08
quote unquote, maybe reprimanding somebody, you're
00:30:11
talking to them and there's something negative.
00:30:13
Be clear that the person is always bigger than the problem.
00:30:16
Like you're more important.
00:30:19
The person is more important than the problem, and problems
00:30:24
can be very severe, especially when it deals with another
00:30:27
person.
00:30:28
And so I had a staff one time that he we have it on video
00:30:34
because there's cameras and it's on audio but he was so bad with
00:30:39
his language and he cussed so much in his regular day in and
00:30:46
day out that he didn't even realize that he cussed.
00:30:48
Even in our conversation with him.
00:30:50
He was like I don't know what's happening, Like I just think
00:30:52
that you know I was effing doing this and I was like you just,
00:30:56
you just did it again and he's like I did what.
00:30:58
I'm like you just cussed, and he's like and he's trying to
00:31:00
argue that he didn't cuss at the students and I'm like you just.
00:31:04
And then in the conversation, like you did it again and he was
00:31:07
just so deaf to it because he had constantly been doing it and
00:31:11
so the reason why I said even though I just finished saying
00:31:14
that the person is bigger than the problem, in this case,
00:31:18
because there was three people I had to tell him that the person
00:31:20
, the child, is bigger than the problem.
00:31:23
When I'm having a conversation with somebody, sometimes it's
00:31:25
the person I'm talking to, reprimanding or writing up
00:31:28
verbally or written, writing them up that they're just as
00:31:31
important as the problem.
00:31:32
But there's other times when our kids, you know they are
00:31:37
important in the problem.
00:31:38
So I tell people I'm going to call out the problem, but I need
00:31:41
to call up the person right and I'll tell them what they did
00:31:45
wrong.
00:31:47
We can call out the situation, we can call out the problem, but
00:31:51
never call out the person.
00:31:52
We have to be able to call up the person.
00:31:55
I'm going to ask you, I'm going to require you, I am going to
00:31:59
call you up to the next level.
00:32:00
This is the problem, this is how it was done.
00:32:04
But in our organization this is how we do things and I'm going
00:32:08
to elevate you and call you up to say I'm requiring you to do
00:32:12
much more than have this type of conversation.
00:32:15
You can't do that here, so I'm going to challenge you to do
00:32:19
this instead, so I'm calling out the problem, but I'm calling up
00:32:22
the person, and I think it's different when people understand
00:32:25
that I'm going to call out what was said, how it was said, but
00:32:30
I'm going to motivate you as a person and require you to let's
00:32:33
step up our game and call you up because at the end of our
00:32:36
conversation, our courageous conversation, I want the person
00:32:39
to be heard, I want them to be understood, but they also want
00:32:42
them to understand that there is a standard here and they fell
00:32:45
below the standard, which is why I'm calling them up.
00:32:48
I'm one of inspire you and motivate you, that this is where
00:32:53
you need to be.
00:32:54
J. Lee: Right, right, exactly.
00:32:56
Good point, good point, all right.
00:33:00
So the last.
00:33:00
This is for all the marbles.
00:33:02
So we went over lifting of staff, positive building
00:33:08
relationships.
00:33:09
The last one is when you're getting to site building,
00:33:13
community right and influence, and how does that cross over and
00:33:19
how is that going to look, you know, is it in your image, is it
00:33:23
in the image of the students, or is it all together?
00:33:25
So my question for you is what can the supervisor do to
00:33:29
influence the culture at their site?
00:33:31
Being at this will be probably like their first time
00:33:34
interacting on this level as a supervisor, you know,
00:33:38
influencing the culture moving forward.
00:33:41
Juan: Yeah, the culture is what it is, not what you say it is.
00:33:45
Tonight, a lot of people will say, or our culture is this,
00:33:48
this and this, and then you go there and then the staff for
00:33:51
life.
00:33:51
I don't like it here.
00:33:52
Everybody does this and there's nobody that does this.
00:33:54
It's like there's your culture right there.
00:33:56
Your culture is not what you say it is.
00:33:57
It's what it actually is.
00:33:59
If there wants to be a change or you're coming into an
00:34:01
organization again or a new spot , you really need to listen to
00:34:07
the staff and figure out what's needed, what's wanted, what's
00:34:10
working, what's not.
00:34:10
But you will always fall down to the level of your standard.
00:34:15
Your culture will always fall down to the level of your staff.
00:34:18
Your leadership will always fall to the baseline of your
00:34:21
knowledge, and so your staff will also fall down to the level
00:34:25
of the leadership.
00:34:25
And so we have to understand where we set that standard.
00:34:29
And so if we want a culture change or we want to keep
00:34:34
something in culture, we have to lead by example.
00:34:36
There was a story that I heard where it was an engineering firm
00:34:39
and it was the engineering floor and they were making some
00:34:44
of the machinery that they were doing and they had a lot of
00:34:47
injuries and a lot of trash on the floor and they kept on
00:34:50
telling everybody clean up their trash.
00:34:51
When they're scrap metal around , pick it up, put it in the
00:34:53
trash can.
00:34:53
And the memos went out, the emails went out, there wasn't a
00:34:58
huge difference and then they started to put signs up Pick up
00:35:02
your trash, pick this up.
00:35:02
We see this at gyms all the time.
00:35:04
If you belong to a gym, people don't rack their weights, they
00:35:08
don't put stuff back to where it's supposed to be, they don't
00:35:10
clean it, and then the people will put up signs Rerack your
00:35:13
weights, make sure you wipe up, clean up after yourself.
00:35:15
And it still doesn't happen, right?
00:35:18
The leadership in this engineering firm said you know
00:35:21
what, when I go to work, instead of being in the big offices
00:35:24
where the cool restrooms and the nice air conditioning is and
00:35:27
stuff, and using the restroom, I'm going to use the restroom
00:35:30
that everybody else uses down on the bottom floor and I'm going
00:35:33
to walk the long way to my office.
00:35:34
I want to use the restroom instead of using the one that's
00:35:36
conveniently right next to my office.
00:35:37
I'm going to walk down to the floor and use the restroom that
00:35:40
everybody else is, and when I do so I'm going to talk to
00:35:43
everybody and I'm going to just clean up.
00:35:44
And so it took about a week or so.
00:35:47
But they saw their boss walking in across the floor saying hi to
00:35:52
people, engaging with them, picking up the pieces of scrap
00:35:55
metal and the paper and stuff on the floor, and they started to
00:35:57
throw it away and using the restroom.
00:35:59
And somebody asked him why are you using our restroom when you
00:36:03
have, like, your own personal restroom up there where all the
00:36:05
bosses are?
00:36:05
And he says it gives me a chance to say hi to y'all and it
00:36:09
gives me a chance to clean up.
00:36:10
Like, if I'm going to work here , then I need to set the example
00:36:13
.
00:36:14
And then those people started to clean up and they started to
00:36:16
talk and say hi and wave.
00:36:17
Instead of the head nods of like what's up, it became the
00:36:20
hand waves, it became the smiles , then it became the talking of
00:36:23
hey, how's it going?
00:36:23
And how the kids?
00:36:25
Conversation started and people started to clean up after
00:36:27
themselves.
00:36:27
So after a week, after multiple bosses started to walk the
00:36:33
floor and set the example by cleaning up, then the employees
00:36:36
started to do it.
00:36:38
So if you want that change to happen in your organization and
00:36:41
you want to build relationships with the students and staff and
00:36:43
that's what you want your staff to do is build relationships you
00:36:45
go out there and do it.
00:36:46
You want your staff to start seeing things that you're seeing
00:36:49
, then you need to start doing those things that you're asking
00:36:52
yourself, that you're asking your staff to do.
00:36:54
You know, I tell people you bosses want the best staff, but
00:36:59
are you being the best boss?
00:37:00
Employees want the best boss, but are you being the best
00:37:03
employee Like?
00:37:04
You need to start doing and being that very thing that
00:37:07
you're wanting to be and to do.
00:37:08
So if you want the culture change or you want to elevate
00:37:11
the culture, then lead by example and do it.
00:37:14
It's going to take some time, but everything takes work Right.
00:37:18
If you can't go to the gym and lift the weight and you get
00:37:21
stronger from it, you're the one that has to do that Right.
00:37:24
And so if we want to change, you can't just point and tell we
00:37:27
have to lead by example and do so.
00:37:29
J. Lee: Right, right.
00:37:30
Oh, that's so good.
00:37:31
Oh, that's so good.
00:37:32
I hate to bring this to an end, but y'all, we have to wrap up
00:37:35
the show.
00:37:35
Oh, thank you so much for sharing all these gyms for those
00:37:39
that have enjoyed it.
00:37:40
We are not done yet, though, so with this we're going to get a
00:37:43
little bit more advice.
00:37:44
We're going to go ahead and jump into our professionals
00:37:47
lounge.
00:37:47
The professionals lounge is a segment of the show that allows
00:37:50
guests to share advice with other practitioners in the OST
00:37:53
and youth development field about how they can begin growing
00:37:57
their gifts and talents, but also develop themselves as
00:38:00
professionals in the field.
00:38:01
Here's our professionals lounge conversation.
00:38:04
All right, everyone, we are at professionals lounge.
00:38:07
We are at the end of the show, but before we leave, we're going
00:38:11
to do our little question, all right?
00:38:14
So everyone is what advice would you give first year
00:38:19
supervisors when it comes to their professional development?
00:38:23
Juan: The one thing that I absolutely hated doing.
00:38:27
I dislike it now.
00:38:28
I went from hated to dislike, but read Read.
00:38:34
I hated reading in high school Hated.
00:38:36
And then in the military and the police department you have
00:38:39
this big old, huge manual.
00:38:40
You got to read Hated it Like give me the abridged version.
00:38:42
I think like chat GPT.
00:38:44
Now you can like download everything.
00:38:46
Like give me the five points that I need to learn.
00:38:47
Like let's cut, cut the like, let me just.
00:38:50
But I will tell you that I read and heard a stat that says
00:38:56
after high school, it's like 17% of people will never or no, I'm
00:39:01
sorry, 73% people will never pick up a book again.
00:39:04
Yeah, crazy.
00:39:06
And then it's like college graduates like same thing.
00:39:09
It's like 70 something percent will never pick up a book again.
00:39:12
And just crazy to know that.
00:39:14
But they say that if you read a book a month in your area of
00:39:22
that you want to learn in that you will become one of the top
00:39:25
1% expert in that field.
00:39:28
And so I Was like no way, really.
00:39:33
And so then I started to read.
00:39:34
So the books behind me, there's two books.
00:39:36
I know they're blurred out, but there's two books there's a
00:39:39
green, green one and a yellow one, and the green one is
00:39:43
Conscious classroom management.
00:39:44
And then the other one is it's called the gap.
00:39:47
What about this kid?
00:39:48
And it's about dealing with.
00:39:49
I did it dealing Handling.
00:39:52
See, I told you I catch this stuff, told you I'm.
00:39:54
I live what I teach and I teach what I live.
00:39:56
Helping yourself, teaching yourself how to work with tier
00:40:02
three students, right?
00:40:03
No, students, that are just you're pushing your buttons.
00:40:05
I read those two books and and within the next two months I
00:40:09
became the trainer of trainers for After school programs,
00:40:14
teaching not only after school programs, but I had schools
00:40:17
bringing me in to teach their teachers and then after they're
00:40:19
like how long were you in the classroom and how long were you
00:40:22
an educator?
00:40:22
And I'm like I Don't got my credential.
00:40:25
They're like what?
00:40:26
And people are like no way, and then some people that turn them
00:40:29
away.
00:40:29
And then other people were like how do you know so much about
00:40:32
school?
00:40:32
I was like as a child I used to go, and even as a teen and as an
00:40:36
adult I would go with my dad to his classroom South Central a,
00:40:39
I mean get Classroom full of rival gangs and stuff and I
00:40:42
would see how my dad would work with students and then what I've
00:40:45
learned from those books and then what I've worked in that
00:40:46
school program did again working with those students and things
00:40:49
like that.
00:40:50
It was just different.
00:40:51
So and what I teach and what I know in leadership is reading
00:40:55
those books, finding out that the author has a workshop or an
00:40:59
event.
00:40:59
Going to those events like really Investing yourself.
00:41:02
And this is the thing that's crazy.
00:41:03
I just read the other day that the average person spends 20 to
00:41:10
30 dollars on coffee, 157 dollars a month on fast food and
00:41:16
$57 or 54 dollars on streaming services Hulu, disney, plus
00:41:22
Spotify, things like that.
00:41:23
So 220 dollars on average a month that you're spending on
00:41:28
something for your stomach right , your energy or your gut, and
00:41:31
then your entertainment.
00:41:32
And then you're wondering why you're not doing really good in
00:41:36
life or your personal development.
00:41:37
If you're to take the 220 dollars and buy a 20 dollar book
00:41:41
, 10 dollar book, whatever, let's just say 10 to 11 books
00:41:44
that you can get and read One a month, take a month off, but 10
00:41:49
or 11 books, one a month.
00:41:51
You can be doping your personal development and I'm learning so
00:41:56
much and doing so much that now I'm teaching the stuff.
00:41:58
I'm teaching the stuff that I've read.
00:41:59
I'm teaching the stuff that I've gone to, these workshops
00:42:01
and these things Investing yourself instead of buying the
00:42:04
coffee that's going to help you with your energy, read something
00:42:07
on what you can actually eat or do that's going to give you
00:42:10
energy, like for me, I was coffee every day coffee, or like
00:42:14
a Red Bull or whatever, and now it's like vitamin D pills.
00:42:19
Going for a morning walk, getting some actual natural
00:42:23
vitamin D sunlight, and now my energy is through the roof, all
00:42:27
because I want to educate myself .
00:42:28
It's like stop taking care of the symptom and start taking
00:42:30
care of the problem.
00:42:31
So, if you're not getting anywhere, or you want to do more
00:42:35
, you want to feel better, you want to be better.
00:42:36
You want to do better.
00:42:37
You want to make more money like.
00:42:38
There's books out there that teach you how to make more money
00:42:41
.
00:42:41
Right right before this call, I was on a call with a mentor
00:42:45
named Myron golden on how do I make more money than I did this
00:42:48
last year?
00:42:49
How do I become a better father than I was this last year?
00:42:53
There's books out there like how to do it and people won't
00:42:56
read them.
00:42:56
I mean even the podcast.
00:42:58
I can give you three to four things to do and people are
00:43:00
going to be like, oh, it's really good, and then they're
00:43:02
not going to do them.
00:43:03
They're just not because we don't push ourselves.
00:43:06
Jim Rohn says if you don't like what you live, change it.
00:43:08
If you don't like what you drive, change it.
00:43:10
Like you're not a tree you can actually get up and move.
00:43:14
And so, when it comes to your personal development, to pick up
00:43:17
a book if you don't like to read, like I did, get the
00:43:20
audiobook.
00:43:20
If your drive to and from work is 20 minutes, you have 40
00:43:24
minutes that you can listen to your, not an audiobook.
00:43:26
When you're eating lunch on a 30 minute lunch, listen to your
00:43:30
audiobook.
00:43:30
Now you have the 20 minutes and 20 minutes and the 30 minutes.
00:43:34
You now have an hour and 10 minutes that you can be in a
00:43:37
book listening to it, like there's no excuses.
00:43:39
I have a portable speaker.
00:43:41
Put it in my restroom, put my audiobook on through the speaker
00:43:44
, take a shower I bump that baby up so I can hear it through the
00:43:47
shower and you know you take a 15 minute shower, 15, 20 minutes
00:43:51
getting ready, like if you want to do something, like, let's,
00:43:54
let's go, let's do something.
00:43:56
J. Lee: Awesome.
00:43:57
So why, if people want to get in such a soon, get more
00:44:00
information?
00:44:01
You know how they reach you.
00:44:04
Juan: Yeah, so instagram is raise the bar ceo.
00:44:07
So that's the company that I have.
00:44:09
It's called raise the bar.
00:44:10
Raise with the z are a, I, z, e raise the bar ceo.
00:44:14
On instagram.
00:44:15
We raise the bar is the website , so wwwwe raise the bar.
00:44:20
Any one of those.
00:44:22
You can reach out to me.
00:44:23
I'm really good about reaching, but if you DM me, I'm right
00:44:28
there like I'm.
00:44:29
I'll reply and help you out as much as I can.
00:44:32
But those are the two spots that are big and then linked in.
00:44:34
I think linked in it's just one alvarado or rtb for raise the
00:44:38
bar, rtb-1.
00:44:40
J. Lee: Hello everyone, that brings us to the end of our show
00:44:43
.
00:44:43
If you like what you heard and you enjoyed our conversation,
00:44:46
make sure that you're following us on youtube, but also hit that
00:44:49
like button so we know what you are enjoying.
00:44:51
You can also find us on other podcast platforms like apple
00:44:56
podcast, spotify and google podcast.
00:44:59
If you want to listen to our audio version as well, to get
00:45:03
more behind the scenes stuff, make sure that you're following
00:45:05
us on our social media accounts instagram and facebook, at
00:45:10
school after hours.
00:45:11
Well, that's all I have for today and the words of mr Arthur
00:45:15
ash start where you are.
00:45:17
Use what you have, do what you can.
00:45:20
Until next time, y'all, bye, bye.
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