In this episode, school counselor Carol Miller shares her insights and expertise on how teachers can effectively manage behaviors and emotions in the classroom. She emphasizes the importance of building confidence in educators and understanding that behavior management is not a personal reflection of their abilities. Carol also discusses the different challenges faced at different grade levels and provides tips for creating a positive classroom environment. She highlights the significance of defining and teaching expectations, implementing systems, and using visuals to support classroom management. Additionally, Carol explains the concept of community circles and how they can foster a sense of community and empathy among students. To gain more insights into effective classroom management strategies and social-emotional learning, be sure to listen to the full episode. Stay tuned for more enlightening content from our podcast.
Guest Bio:
Carol Miller is a veteran school counselor with K-12 experiences. Currently an Elementary Counselor in the Rome City School District, Carol is a Past President of the New York State School Counselor Association. Carol has authored two small group curriculum: StarBound and Building Champions and runs the website Counseling Essentials. She was the 2016 NY School Counselor of the Year, 2018 ASCA School Counselor of the Year State Delegate and the 2022 NY Lifetime Achievement Award recipient. She is a champion for students and school counselors around the globe.
Resources:
* [YouTube video on the Hand Model of the Brain](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=br_9_5NGH0U)
Here is a link to some Free Emotional Check Ins. https://awesome-block-299.myflodesk.com/xoiuo7zxe1
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/themiddleschoolcounselor
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/counselingessentials/
My TpT Store https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Store/Carol-Miller-Counseling-Essentials
Think Sheets https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Behavior-Reflection-Think-Sheet-Reflection--4723084
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Speaker 1: expectations year to year differ.
00:00:02
So if we want to have strong classroom management, we have to
00:00:07
not only define our expectations but we have to
00:00:10
teach them, and they have to be explicitly taught, because kids
00:00:16
don't automatically know.
00:00:17
You assume that they should know by now, but they don't know
00:00:22
if they haven't been taught by now.
00:00:25
Speaker 2: But they don't know if they haven't been taught.
00:00:30
Hello, hello everyone.
00:00:34
Welcome to School After Hours podcast, where we talk about all
00:00:35
things related to out-of-school time programming and education.
00:00:37
I am your host, jaylee, and we have the wonderful Carol Miller
00:00:40
here with us today.
00:00:40
She is an educational counselor .
00:00:43
She has her own TPT store giving you products and
00:00:47
essentials for counseling which are really good.
00:00:49
I would stress that you go check them out.
00:00:52
Definitely, look at the things that's there, because they are
00:00:54
definitely going to help you.
00:00:55
But also she is a fellow podcaster as well for Counseling
00:00:59
Chat.
00:01:00
So, with that being said, carol , how are you All right?
00:01:05
Thank you, hi, everyone.
00:01:08
Speaker 1: So good to be here.
00:01:09
Speaker 2: I'm happy to have you here.
00:01:10
So we're going to be talking about today managing behaviors
00:01:13
in the classroom.
00:01:14
Okay and I know this is a really, really deep topic Coming
00:01:19
back into the school year after a long break and even winding
00:01:23
down, you know, some of us are getting ready for our summer
00:01:25
planning at the same time, so trying to get to the long
00:01:28
stretch, trying to get to the next break.
00:01:30
But, with that being said, let's go ahead and take a pause
00:01:34
and jump into our Community Corner.
00:01:37
Community Corner is a segment of the show that allows guests or
00:01:40
myself to share tips, advice or information on a specific topic
00:01:44
with young people, families or community members.
00:01:48
Without further ado, let's go ahead and get into our Community
00:01:52
Corner conversation.
00:01:53
All right, everybody, we've made it to our Community Corner.
00:01:56
So, carol, my question for you, for Community Corner, is this
00:02:00
when we come in contact with students with a variety of
00:02:03
backgrounds, you know we have students from different
00:02:06
countries, we have students that speak different languages, we
00:02:09
also have students that may have certain disabilities as well,
00:02:13
and then we may have some of those students that are just
00:02:14
kind of shy and reserved at the same time.
00:02:17
Right, so a lot of things going on.
00:02:19
How do we get students to respect each other's differences
00:02:23
and foster community at the same time?
00:02:25
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think first of all, you have to talk about
00:02:29
identity right, and how everyone has kind of their own identity
00:02:33
and what identity really is, and how we each have our own
00:02:37
customs and religions and backgrounds and traditions that
00:02:41
we bring to the table and we're all so unique and traditions
00:02:48
that we bring to the table and we're all so unique.
00:02:49
But that's what makes our classroom beautiful is that
00:02:50
everyone has all these different experiences and stories that
00:02:54
they're going to be coming with that they can share.
00:02:56
That's going to add a little bit more spice and variety to
00:03:00
what we're doing here and I think that that's really
00:03:03
important and you want to start that with the little teeny, tiny
00:03:08
tots and I think, continue those conversations as the kids
00:03:11
get older.
00:03:12
But as they do get older, I know in my school one of the
00:03:16
things that we're really working on to really bring together and
00:03:21
have a community is we do community circles.
00:03:24
We just really started doing them just before the winter
00:03:29
break and I can already see the difference that they're making.
00:03:33
So in our community circles we've gone around, we have
00:03:37
established some routines and expectations that we have of one
00:03:41
another when we're in these circles and it's amazing because
00:03:44
you know I go into all these classrooms and do them and
00:03:48
pretty much all the expectations from classroom to classroom.
00:03:51
Even though they haven't talked to one another, they're all
00:03:53
pretty much the same.
00:03:54
So they all will basically say we want to be able to say
00:03:59
whatever we need to say without being judged.
00:04:02
We want to make sure that whatever we say here kind of
00:04:08
stays in the room here and that it's confidential.
00:04:10
We want to feel like people are giving us their attention and
00:04:18
they're not like playing with stuff or doing other things
00:04:21
while we're talking, because we really want to feel like we're
00:04:23
respecting each other and while we're talking because we really
00:04:24
want to feel like we're respecting each other and that
00:04:27
we're being respected when we're sharing.
00:04:28
And they also will all pretty much say that passing is okay
00:04:36
and passing is actually still a form of participation.
00:04:38
You know, just because maybe we don't have, we're at a loss for
00:04:41
words or we don't really feel comfortable, it doesn't mean
00:04:44
that we're not a part of the community, it just means it's
00:04:47
not our time to share right now and that's okay too.
00:04:51
And with the circles, you know, after you do that you kind of
00:04:54
just go around and you have your little feelings, check in,
00:04:58
usually like, tell us your high of the day or your low of the
00:05:01
day or something sweet and something sour.
00:05:04
I kind of mix it up from class to class to give it a little
00:05:07
variety and then we just start our talk.
00:05:11
So we've talked about teamwork and leadership and even how we
00:05:16
want to feel when we're working in the class with other kids,
00:05:20
and some of those little tiny conversations really turn out to
00:05:25
be some powerful conversations really, because the kids start
00:05:29
to think, wow, you know, it really is kind of rude if I like
00:05:33
scooch over my chair, if I'm sitting next to someone that I
00:05:37
don't necessarily like, or I shouldn't roll my eyes at
00:05:41
someone, if I'm told to work with somebody, right, because
00:05:44
how many times have you seen that I can't work with him?
00:05:48
I'm like gosh.
00:05:49
It's like the worst thing in the world.
00:05:50
Oh my gosh, they might not make it to my role if I have to work
00:05:54
with them.
00:05:55
So we just try to have these conversations so that there's
00:06:00
more acceptance, and they really make the classroom so much more
00:06:04
empathetic, which is nice.
00:06:06
Speaker 2: Well, thank you, carol, for sharing that with us,
00:06:08
and we're going to go ahead and jump into our interview.
00:06:11
All right, everyone, we are here at our interview section of
00:06:19
the show.
00:06:20
We have the wonderful Miss Carol Miller here with us.
00:06:23
Carol, I am so happy to have you today.
00:06:26
So for those that may not know you and what you do, go ahead
00:06:30
and give them a little bit of your background.
00:06:33
Go ahead and spill the tea.
00:06:34
What do you do?
00:06:35
Okay?
00:06:36
Speaker 1: Well, I am a school counselor, which means I deal
00:06:40
with lots of behaviors, lots of emotions and the occasional
00:06:45
crier.
00:06:46
I absolutely love what I do.
00:06:50
I am in year 32.
00:06:52
And so, yay, I know it's a long time, but I have an
00:07:00
undergraduate degree, I have a bachelor's degree in
00:07:02
anthropology and my master's is in school counseling.
00:07:06
And, yeah, I have been doing this for a long time.
00:07:11
Speaker 2: Yeah, 32 years, yes, and I know that comes with a lot
00:07:17
of wisdom, a lot of experience, but also a lot of care at the
00:07:22
same time, for the children, but also the teachers that you've
00:07:25
come in contact with over the years.
00:07:27
So that is the great part.
00:07:29
With that being said, carol, when you see teachers in the
00:07:32
classroom for a variety of things, where do you see them
00:07:36
going wrong or where do you see them having trouble when it
00:07:39
comes to classroom management?
00:07:43
Speaker 1: That is a really great question, and for some of
00:07:46
it it doesn't matter whether you're in elementary school,
00:07:51
middle school or high school.
00:07:52
One of the most common problems , I think, for any grade level,
00:07:56
is an educator's confidence in themselves, in trying to think I
00:08:03
have the skills that are needed to really manage these
00:08:06
behaviors, because there are sometimes kids.
00:08:08
The behaviors that they're having can just drain on you.
00:08:12
I'm thinking about some of the teachers that I work with now,
00:08:15
like some really experienced teachers who are absolutely
00:08:19
phenomenal, but they can be working with a kid and that
00:08:23
little pumpkin is just draining, like they feel like I'm doing
00:08:29
all these things and I know I'm doing it right, but when they're
00:08:33
not responding in the way that you want them to or they're not
00:08:37
making the progress that you really want them to have, you
00:08:41
just feel like it's a personal attack, like I'm doing something
00:08:45
wrong, I can't do this, I can't make the connection, and so a
00:08:49
person's confidence really can get shaken, and so I think
00:08:53
that's the number one thing when it comes to working with
00:08:57
behaviors is that you have to really understand that it's not
00:09:00
you.
00:09:01
It's just that maybe there's something else, or maybe it's
00:09:06
something out of your control.
00:09:08
Maybe the kid needs some medication or maybe there's not
00:09:14
follow through at home.
00:09:15
So because there's not follow through at home, it's hard to
00:09:19
have that consistency at school because you're expecting to have
00:09:23
this team with their parent and there isn't one.
00:09:26
So I think that's the biggest thing.
00:09:30
But in terms of, like, the different age levels, I think in
00:09:34
high school it's more remembering that you have to
00:09:38
regulate your own emotions before you can regulate the kids
00:09:42
, because sometimes there's this huge power struggle.
00:09:45
You know, when a kid is 18, you expect them to know how to
00:09:49
regulate their emotions and things, but they're hormonal.
00:09:52
They don't regulate their emotions.
00:09:55
That's why they're little kids and you know they have these
00:10:00
triggers.
00:10:01
Their buttons are going to get pushed and if you look at them
00:10:03
the wrong way, that could just be their button being pushed.
00:10:07
So you have to remember that there's a time and a place, and
00:10:12
sometimes in the middle of class , saying why isn't your homework
00:10:14
done?
00:10:14
That might not be the time or the place to ask that question.
00:10:18
So it's making a connection and saying, hey, you know we have
00:10:24
to talk about this later.
00:10:25
Can you come and like I'll find you on some time?
00:10:30
That maybe works best for you, like just having those types of
00:10:35
conversations can really change the dynamics, because kids don't
00:10:41
like to be called out, and I know, having worked in high
00:10:43
school and I spent the bulk of my career at high school, so
00:10:46
I've seen that a lot where it's just that you know they're
00:10:50
coming head to head with one another the teacher and the kid.
00:10:53
Speaker 2: Right.
00:10:55
Speaker 1: At middle school, you know it's more of the kid feels
00:10:57
like they're kind of at a lack of control, like they don't
00:11:01
control anything.
00:11:01
They're dependent on everyone for everything.
00:11:05
And Like they don't control anything, they're dependent on
00:11:09
everyone for everything, and so their needs are sometimes a
00:11:11
little bit different.
00:11:11
But I think with all kids still we have to remember that, even
00:11:15
if they're in 12th grade, expectations from class to class
00:11:19
differ, expectations year to year differ.
00:11:24
So if we want to have strong classroom management, we have to
00:11:27
not only define our expectations but we have to
00:11:31
teach them and they have to be explicitly taught, because kids
00:11:36
don't automatically know they.
00:11:39
You assume that they should know by now, but they don't know
00:11:43
if they haven't been taught.
00:11:45
It's just like a bedtime routine .
00:11:47
In some houses it's wherever you drop with whatever you're
00:11:51
wearing, that's bedtime.
00:11:53
For other families it's like nope, you're going to put your
00:11:57
pajamas on, you're going to brush your teeth, you're going
00:12:01
to do this Electronics away, you're in bed.
00:12:03
And for other families there's like some spectrum in between.
00:12:07
So expectations differ, so you have to remember to teach them.
00:12:12
You also need some systems, right Systems of management Like
00:12:16
what are you going to do now that these expectations are
00:12:19
taught.
00:12:20
Do you have to have some sort of consequence?
00:12:23
Or is there and when I mean consequence, I don't mean like,
00:12:27
ooh, you're in trouble, but if you haven't met the expectation,
00:12:33
what are you going to do to make sure that you are meeting
00:12:36
it the next time?
00:12:37
Or how do you make like retribution?
00:12:40
If you heard a peer or you weren't kind or you said
00:12:44
something really mean, like how do you make it up to that person
00:12:47
?
00:12:47
So, you have to kind of figure all those things out, and with
00:12:52
little kids sometimes I find that most behaviors occur in
00:12:57
classrooms that are super busy, and when I mean super busy I
00:13:01
don't mean like just kids all over the place, but like stuff
00:13:04
all over the walls and you know food happening all the time, or
00:13:09
like you can't have constant snack time.
00:13:11
I know it's nice, but you can't because it leads to a little
00:13:16
chaos.
00:13:17
Once again, that goes back to systems, but sometimes kids are
00:13:21
overstimulated and so you have to think about how you can play
00:13:25
that down a little bit.
00:13:27
Speaker 2: Very true.
00:13:28
Hold that thought.
00:13:29
So this is all good conversation, these are all
00:13:32
great tips, but before we go any further, let's go ahead and
00:13:34
take a break.
00:13:35
Give everybody a chance to grab your water, get your snack,
00:13:38
meditate on some of the things that have been said to you right
00:13:40
now.
00:13:40
So we're going to go ahead and take a quick break and we'll be
00:13:43
right back.
00:13:44
Don't go too far.
00:13:45
See you soon.
00:13:47
Are you a program director or thinking of starting a program?
00:13:50
Maybe you need new curriculum that focuses on character
00:13:54
development or technical skills.
00:13:56
Maybe you need help establishing effective program
00:13:59
logistics to have an impactful program culture or, overall, you
00:14:04
just need a program evaluation.
00:14:05
Well, school After Hours Consulting is here to help.
00:14:09
Contact us at schoolafterhourscom and our
00:14:18
contact information is in the show notes.
00:14:19
Hope to hear from you soon.
00:14:20
Hello everyone, welcome back to the show.
00:14:21
We have the wonderful Carol Miller here with us.
00:14:22
She is an educational counselor , she's also a fellow podcaster
00:14:26
and she does all the wonderful things, and today we are talking
00:14:29
about classroom management.
00:14:31
So, with that being said, we're going to go ahead and jump
00:14:34
right back into our conversation .
00:14:35
And, carol, my next question for you is is what are some
00:14:39
fundamental needs to knows when it comes to tips for
00:14:44
implementing classroom management strategies for
00:14:46
students.
00:14:47
Speaker 1: Well, I think there's definitely some things to put
00:14:50
into play.
00:14:50
The first is to really define and teach your expectations
00:14:55
Right.
00:14:55
Kids have to know what's expected of them and you have to
00:14:59
really talk about them.
00:15:00
You also have to really create systems.
00:15:03
So you have to make sure that, if this happens, this is what I
00:15:09
want to happen, this is how it's going to happen and this is
00:15:14
what we're going to do if it doesn't happen.
00:15:16
Happen, and this is what we're going to do if it doesn't happen
00:15:20
.
00:15:20
You also need systems for, maybe , how your classroom is put
00:15:22
together, like, do you need a system for collecting papers?
00:15:25
Do you need a system for when a kid leaves the room?
00:15:28
Do you need a system for how they ask for help?
00:15:33
Do you need a system for when they should ask if they can use
00:15:37
the bathroom or not?
00:15:38
Because you know kids can say I have to use the bathroom, but
00:15:41
that gets really annoying if you're right in the middle of a
00:15:44
sentence of critical instruction and they're like I have to pee.
00:15:49
No, you don't.
00:15:51
You can wait 30 seconds until we come to this part of our
00:15:55
lesson, right?
00:15:56
So it's about creating those systems.
00:16:00
You also need, I think, some visuals, because some kids
00:16:04
really need to know something that's going to happen
00:16:07
consistently.
00:16:08
So I know when I go into a classroom my kids pretty much
00:16:11
know that the first thing is we're going to do some sort of
00:16:15
like brain break warm up.
00:16:17
I'm going to then introduce the lesson.
00:16:19
We're going to have a warm up for that, then we're going to
00:16:23
get into the main part of our activity.
00:16:25
We're going to have a discussion and then I'm going to
00:16:27
have some sort of like evaluative process, whether it's
00:16:30
a thumbs up, thumbs down or whatever.
00:16:33
My kids also know that they can't ask to use the bathroom or
00:16:38
get up or move until we're in like kind of the work part of
00:16:43
the lesson where I'm going to ask them to do something.
00:16:47
Then I might let them use the bathroom, but if I'm reading a
00:16:50
story or something to start the lesson with, don't ask, don't
00:16:54
look at me, don't say a word, because you are going to get
00:16:57
this.
00:16:57
So you have to have those visuals and so sometimes having
00:17:00
the visuals is really helpful.
00:17:02
Even I love when I go into classrooms and the teacher has
00:17:06
like a red light green light for when a kid can use the bathroom
00:17:10
.
00:17:10
So red light is critical instruction.
00:17:14
Green light means you can get up and you can go, so visuals
00:17:18
can be really great as well as that schedule of here's what
00:17:21
we're doing first, second, third and fourth.
00:17:25
Another I think fundamental when it comes to implementing a
00:17:31
system, a classroom management system, is to really develop
00:17:36
those relationships with your kiddos and know what motivates
00:17:40
them.
00:17:41
You know, one of the things that we use a lot is kind of
00:17:44
like a motivational survey.
00:17:47
So we're asking these kids like what excites you about school
00:17:51
or what do you not like or what kinds of things kind of distract
00:17:55
you?
00:17:55
And sometimes I'll do those individually with kiddos, but
00:17:59
sometimes we do that as a whole class and the information that
00:18:03
we get from that is just really great because kids are pretty
00:18:06
honest.
00:18:06
They'll be like well, whenever I sit by Johnny, I can't
00:18:10
concentrate.
00:18:10
You know that's my biggest distraction in class.
00:18:13
So then you can look at it and say, oh well, maybe I shouldn't
00:18:16
put him by Johnny, but you have to develop those relationships
00:18:20
to be able to ask those questions.
00:18:22
Speaker 2: Right which is very true and I know that's something
00:18:24
that we say repeatedly on the show is that it's important for
00:18:27
you to know the child before you redirect the child For the
00:18:31
reason of you know you don't want them to take it as a hit to
00:18:37
their let me say, I don't want to say a hit to their ego, but
00:18:42
you don't want to have it like damage who they are as a person
00:18:46
and then they carry that and that creates emotional scars.
00:18:49
You know, some of us still walk around with those things today,
00:18:52
even as adults, things today, even as adults.
00:18:54
But if you take the time to learn them and who they are,
00:18:58
you're able to kind of engage with them the way that they can
00:19:01
understand like hey, hey hey, yeah, exactly.
00:19:05
And they know that it's coming from a place of care and not
00:19:08
from a place of judgment.
00:19:14
Speaker 1: Exactly.
00:19:15
I think the other thing that you have to kind of ask yourself
00:19:16
as an educator, when you're working with a kid who maybe is
00:19:18
having kind of a little meltdown , and you have to kind of ask is
00:19:23
the behavior interfering, learning, or is the behavior
00:19:27
just annoying me?
00:19:28
Because sometimes those are two different things.
00:19:31
You know a kid could be having their meltdown, but quiet and
00:19:35
under a table.
00:19:36
You know a kid could be having their milk down, but quiet and
00:19:37
under a table, and that could be bothersome to you but it's not
00:19:41
affecting everybody else, right?
00:19:43
They're quiet, they're there.
00:19:45
They might even still be engaged in what's going on, but
00:19:50
they're just not doing what you want them to do, which is
00:19:53
sitting at the desk, maybe with something in front of them, but
00:20:03
they're there.
00:20:03
So you kind of sometimes have to be a little bit flexible with
00:20:05
your expectations for certain kids.
00:20:07
Speaker 2: Right Right, very true.
00:20:08
And that brings me to this concept that we talked about
00:20:11
earlier when it comes to building relationships and
00:20:12
knowing your students, but them also.
00:20:15
Building relationships with kids around them, in their class
00:20:17
or even in their environment, is the community circles that
00:20:21
you mentioned.
00:20:21
So like to foster that awareness for not just your
00:20:26
students but also yourself as a facilitator, as a teacher, as
00:20:29
the adult in the room.
00:20:30
Like if someone wanted to start those community circles, how
00:20:34
would they go about that process to make it part of their
00:20:37
enrichment of the classroom?
00:20:39
Speaker 1: I think you have to first kind of create a schedule
00:20:43
for when you're going to offer these circles, because they
00:20:47
should be kind of routine and for some classes it's just not
00:20:52
really developmentally appropriate for them, you know,
00:20:54
to sit and focus their attention for that long.
00:20:57
But for the upper grades it certainly is, and so what we're
00:21:01
going to do when we're having these circles, it's really part
00:21:05
of a restorative justice program , and so we are creating these
00:21:11
circles.
00:21:12
And when you do a circle you have to really have time to
00:21:15
rearrange your classroom because you are going to put yourself
00:21:19
and everyone that's part of your class in a circle and the way a
00:21:25
true community circle is run, every person that's in that
00:21:29
classroom has a space in the circle.
00:21:32
So even if a kid is absent, you usually pull their chair in to
00:21:37
represent them being there, even though they're not physically
00:21:41
there.
00:21:41
At the moment and I know when I'm doing SEL lessons my
00:21:46
teachers might leave the class, but during circle they have to
00:21:50
be a part of it because it's their classroom, their community
00:21:54
, and they need to be a part of that.
00:21:58
But you have the circle and you do have a talking piece, and
00:22:01
sometimes I'll ask the teacher if they have something that they
00:22:03
want to use.
00:22:04
We haven't been doing it that long so I haven't started to ask
00:22:08
the kids if, one by one, they want to bring in something
00:22:11
that's a talking piece.
00:22:12
But a talking piece is usually something that's kind of special
00:22:16
to one person and you start the circle by sharing like what the
00:22:20
talking piece is, why it was picked and why it's special.
00:22:23
And then you go around and usually everybody comments like,
00:22:27
oh, I really like your story about this talking piece, or wow
00:22:31
, I was really interested in why you decided to share that with
00:22:35
us.
00:22:35
So you pass around the talking piece and then you're really
00:22:39
just starting your conversations .
00:22:42
So, there's lots of ways that you can run the circles, but
00:22:45
it's really a chance to have everyone feel like they have a
00:22:49
voice and that their voice is heard.
00:22:51
Right, they're really, they're really nice.
00:22:54
Speaker 2: What I didn't get a chance to ask you was what is a
00:22:58
community circle and what's the purpose of a community circle.
00:23:01
Speaker 1: Okay, so a community circle.
00:23:04
It's actually tied to restorative processes and it
00:23:10
comes from, like, indigenous cultures, where they would come
00:23:15
together as a community and have these circles within their own
00:23:18
community, and so we've kind of stolen that idea and used it
00:23:22
within schools or different people use them in different
00:23:26
ways, but it's really a way to come together to build
00:23:29
relationships, to build empathy and growth within, really, your
00:23:36
classroom.
00:23:36
So we call it a community circle because we're really
00:23:40
trying to build that community within the class.
00:23:43
Speaker 2: Right, which brings me to my next question for you
00:23:46
when it comes to social emotional learning, right?
00:23:48
Because we want the students to be self aware as well as
00:23:51
socially aware.
00:23:52
So my question is how can educators use social emotional
00:23:55
learning to help students be aware of their emotions in
00:24:00
challenging moments?
00:24:01
Speaker 1: I think you know, in social emotional learning, you
00:24:05
know some schools don't have school counselors, you know, and
00:24:07
other schools do, and different schools use them in different
00:24:11
ways.
00:24:12
But you do, no matter what your school situation is, if you want
00:24:16
to try to incorporate social emotional learning, because it
00:24:20
really helps to build empathy, perseverance.
00:24:24
And there's kind of a difference between social
00:24:28
emotional learning and character ed, because character ed
00:24:32
although there's like they're used sometimes interchangeably
00:24:35
character ed we're teaching values and we're teaching traits
00:24:39
, but we're also teaching kids how we want them to behave using
00:24:46
those character traits, Whereas social and emotional learning
00:24:50
is you are really teaching problem solving and empathy to
00:24:54
kids and helping them to really understand different
00:24:59
perspectives.
00:24:59
Like everyone has their own background, Everyone has their
00:25:02
own ideas, Everyone has their own beliefs, but even though we
00:25:06
might not all believe in the same thing, how can we treat
00:25:10
people with respect?
00:25:12
How can we problem solve through a conflict and how can
00:25:17
we resolve that peacefully?
00:25:18
So it's giving the kids the ideas, but asking them to come
00:25:23
up with their own solutions to the problems that they're facing
00:25:26
.
00:25:27
Speaker 2: Right, and how can that be used for them to then
00:25:30
create coping skills for their students when they're starting
00:25:33
to feel certain emotions?
00:25:35
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:25:35
So I think you first have to teach like perspectives, you
00:25:40
know, like everyone has their own point of view, and then that
00:25:43
kind of leads into empathy.
00:25:45
So because we all have our own point of view, then we have to
00:25:50
be able to also understand that we have to treat each other with
00:25:56
kindness.
00:25:56
And after we do that we're kind of looking at all right, we
00:26:01
have these emotions.
00:26:02
What do you do if someone's having these emotions?
00:26:05
How do you support them?
00:26:06
How do you maybe comfort them?
00:26:08
How do you say I'm sorry?
00:26:10
And then you teach your coping skills.
00:26:13
So it kind of like builds on one another.
00:26:16
But they have to understand that perspective and that
00:26:20
empathy piece before they can say, all right, we're having
00:26:24
these emotions, what do we do about it?
00:26:26
And I think within that you teach a little bit about how
00:26:30
their brain works, you know, and how their brain, when you're
00:26:34
upset, kind of fly off the handle.
00:26:37
I like to teach.
00:26:38
It's called the hand model of the brain and it talks about the
00:26:41
wise old owl who, kind of you know, lives in your brain and
00:26:48
helps you make really good decisions.
00:26:50
But yet in the center of your brain is the guard dog who
00:26:54
guards all your emotions and when your emotions are like out
00:26:57
of control, your dog barks.
00:26:59
And when your dog barks, your owl flies away.
00:27:02
And when your owl flies away, now you're not thinking clearly,
00:27:07
you're not being rational, and so what do we need to do to calm
00:27:12
our little guard dog down so that our owl flies back and we
00:27:15
can make good decisions?
00:27:17
So we kind of break it down that way with the kids and you
00:27:21
can use that example.
00:27:22
There's like plenty of like YouTube videos, the video on
00:27:25
that just Google hand model of the brain and a million things
00:27:30
will pop up and it doesn't matter whether they're really
00:27:32
little or super big or the smelly ones kind of in between.
00:27:36
You know those middle schoolers , they all kind of get it like
00:27:40
oh yeah, that makes sense.
00:27:42
Speaker 2: Right.
00:27:42
Speaker 1: And I think once you do that, then you can understand
00:27:45
like well then, why do we have emotions?
00:27:47
Because, they protect us.
00:27:50
Our emotions are telling us something.
00:27:51
You know, when we feel happy, it's because our emotions are
00:27:55
showing people that we enjoy this or we really like it.
00:27:59
And when we're sad, it's showing us, maybe, what we're
00:28:01
missing or something's not quite right.
00:28:05
And when we're angry, it's for this other reason, or when we're
00:28:08
scared it's for this other reason, or when we're scared
00:28:09
it's because we want to protect ourselves.
00:28:12
So our emotions have a role, they have a job.
00:28:14
And then, once we do that, then we can say, well, how do we
00:28:18
calm down and what are ways that we do that?
00:28:20
And then you practice those things so that when their owl
00:28:25
flies away and their guard dog is barking, the kids know what
00:28:28
to do.
00:28:35
Speaker 2: Exactly Well.
00:28:35
Thank you so much, carol, for sharing those tidbits with us
00:28:36
and being here with us today.
00:28:37
But before we go, we're going to go ahead and jump into our
00:28:38
Professionals Lounge.
00:28:39
Professionals Lounge is a segment of the show that allows
00:28:42
guests to share advice with other practitioners in the OST
00:28:46
and youth development field about how they can begin growing
00:28:49
their gifts and talents, but also develop themselves as
00:28:52
professionals in the field.
00:28:54
Here's our Professionals Lounge conversation.
00:28:57
All right, everyone, we've made it to the end of our show.
00:29:00
I know that you all have had a great time, but before we go,
00:29:03
we're going to go ahead and do our Professionals Lounge.
00:29:05
So, carol, this is my Professionals Lounge question
00:29:08
for you to go ahead and do our Professionals Lounge.
00:29:09
So, carol, this is my Professionals Lounge question
00:29:10
for you.
00:29:10
What resources can you recommend to educators to help
00:29:12
them with their students when they engage with them, but also
00:29:16
help them with their classroom management?
00:29:18
Speaker 1: I don't even know where to begin, because there
00:29:19
are so many things that I can give you to share.
00:29:22
I do have one thing we talked a lot about community circles,
00:29:30
and so the book that we use and where we were trained with is
00:29:34
called Circle Forward.
00:29:37
And you can just go to Amazon or wherever for that.
00:29:40
But it's a really fantastic book and it has tons and tons of
00:29:45
community circle prompts.
00:29:46
When the whole beginning of the book tells you this is like how
00:29:50
you run a circle, these are the steps, these are questions to
00:29:53
ask, this is like what you do to start it to in the middle of it
00:29:58
and to end it with, so I truly recommend that book.
00:30:01
It's really good.
00:30:02
In terms of other things, in my TPT store I have this one thing
00:30:07
.
00:30:07
It's called think sheets.
00:30:07
In my TPT store I have this one thing that's called Think
00:30:09
Sheets and it's also part of the restorative process.
00:30:23
So it goes through the steps like oh, I had this behavior
00:30:24
that maybe I like to call them unexpected behaviors rather than
00:30:26
like a misbehavior or bad behavior.
00:30:27
But I had this unexpected behavior that really did some
00:30:28
damage, whether it was like it took time away from me, like I
00:30:32
lost a privilege, or it hurt my classmates because maybe they
00:30:37
had to be removed to another room and so they lost
00:30:39
instruction time, or maybe I just made the teacher sad, or
00:30:44
they're a little angry with me right now.
00:30:47
But it walks them through all the steps and it asks them like
00:30:51
well, what were you thinking before the event happened?
00:30:55
You know what feelings were you having, and so you can kind of
00:30:59
see, like, where they're coming from and maybe why they did what
00:31:02
they did.
00:31:03
I was mad at so-and-so from lunchtime or recess because they
00:31:09
were calling me names.
00:31:11
And so now you asked me to work with him.
00:31:13
So of course I didn't want to and I said no and I stormed out,
00:31:16
you know.
00:31:17
So you can kind of work backwards and find out what the
00:31:20
reasons were.
00:31:21
Speaker 2: Right yeah.
00:31:23
Speaker 1: Like, oh, there you go.
00:31:24
But then we'll walk them through, like what are the next
00:31:27
steps?
00:31:27
Well, now that this happened, what do you have to do?
00:31:30
Speaker 2: Do you have to apologize.
00:31:32
Speaker 1: Do you have to clean up a mess?
00:31:33
Do you have to do this or that?
00:31:34
And then it kind of like circles it around so that you
00:31:40
find some resolve to the whole situation.
00:31:42
So I think that's a good way to practice putting things back in
00:31:47
order.
00:31:47
Once something takes it out of order makes it kind of a mess.
00:31:52
So I think that's a a good thing to have.
00:31:56
In terms of other things.
00:31:57
You know, if you want to learn more about the brain and the
00:32:02
hand model of the brain, it's a really good, I think, uh system
00:32:06
for kids because they understand it.
00:32:08
They get the visuals of like you totally use your hand to
00:32:12
describe like the brain and the parts of the brain and what
00:32:16
those parts of the brain do and why they're so important, and so
00:32:19
I have a couple of things on the hand model of the brain in
00:32:22
my TPT store, but you could also really easily go online, like I
00:32:27
said, to like YouTube and find some awesome videos about the
00:32:31
hand model of the brain, and I think those are helpful things
00:32:35
to have too.
00:32:36
And, if you don't mind, I do have a freebie that I usually
00:32:41
just put on my blog about, you know, the little student survey.
00:32:45
So like.
00:32:46
I have a student survey and some call it a forced choice reward
00:32:51
survey.
00:32:51
I didn't talk about that, but it just kind of is like if you
00:32:55
were to do like a behavior plan with a kid, like what types of
00:32:59
things motivate those, motivate them, and so I can share it,
00:33:03
like I'll give you the links for that and so that you can share
00:33:05
it with people and it's free.
00:33:06
It's like you know, they just kind of hit the button and
00:33:08
download it.
00:33:09
Speaker 2: So they'll love it.
00:33:10
Please do, we would love them.
00:33:13
Speaker 1: Yes.
00:33:15
Speaker 2: Well, thank you so much, Carol, for being here with
00:33:18
us today, and if anyone wants to get in touch with you to
00:33:22
learn a little bit more about what you do, or even you know,
00:33:26
contract you out to do some learning or help them with their
00:33:29
classroom management or services, go ahead and tell them
00:33:32
how they can reach you.
00:33:34
Speaker 1: Okay, well, you can find me mostly on Facebook.
00:33:38
I have several really large Facebook groups for school
00:33:42
counselors Elementary School Counselor Exchange, cotton,
00:33:45
middle School Counselors or High School Counselor Connection so
00:33:49
you can find me in one of those groups, as well as just Carol
00:33:53
Miller, counseling Essentials, on both Facebook and on
00:33:57
Instagram.
00:33:57
On Instagram it's just Counseling Essentials, but you
00:34:00
can find me there.
00:34:02
Speaker 2: Awesome.
00:34:02
Don't forget the podcast.
00:34:03
Don't forget the podcast.
00:34:04
Speaker 1: Oh, and the podcast.
00:34:05
Oh yeah, Come listen to us because we're kind of cool over
00:34:07
there.
00:34:10
Speaker 2: It's the Counselor Chat Podcast Awesome, well,
00:34:13
thank you again for being here and everyone, that is the end of
00:34:16
our show.
00:34:16
Please like, subscribe, but also share us so this wonderful
00:34:21
information can be spread around and we can also get some more
00:34:23
listeners for our show.
00:34:24
Thank you for your time and thank you for being here with us
00:34:27
until we meet next time.
00:34:28
Bye, well, everyone.
00:34:32
That brings us to the end of our show.
00:34:34
If you like what you heard and you enjoyed our conversation,
00:34:37
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00:34:40
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00:34:42
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00:34:50
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00:35:00
School After Hours.
00:35:02
Well, that's all I have for today.
00:35:05
In the words of Mr Arthur Ashe, start where you are, use what
00:35:08
you have, do what you can.
00:35:10
Until next time, y'all, bye-bye .
